Weeds, Weeds, and More Weeds!

My garden is overrun with weeds. Argh! I hate to think of the massive amount of work to be done by only one little person... Hire out the work? Never! I'm too proud to admit to failure...failure to pull out weeds? What kind of a moron would fail at weed-pulling? Hmmm! I'll try not to look into the mirror!
Seriously though, my garden is overrun by a type of weed called Nutgrass. I have heard that one particular type of weedkiller, IMAGE, will do the trick... We'll see. In the mean time, I step gingerly through my garden, holding a rake...yes, that's how many weeds I have! I've tried all the homemade remedies like laying down newspaper, wetting it and then covering it with mulch. That's all fine and dandy as long as the mulch contains no weed seeds. Imagine where I might have gotten all my nutgrass weeds from?
I've also done a lot of trimming to different plants, like azaleas and boxwood. I've pulled up a few plants, too, like asparagus fern. One variety of this fern is calm and stately and stays put within its allotted territory; the other variety of this fern is erratic, growing wildly everywhere and arming itself with some nasty thorns. Of course, I have this latter variety. Argh! Get this monster out of my garden NOW!
I discovered that my Bauhinia Tree (Orchid Tree) is a lot more fragile than I had originally thought. The wind had tossed it around a little and a branch cracked and fell as a result. The tree is beautiful and I was miffed at the thought of cutting away this cracked branch. But, order is a necessary evil for my garden and so whack went the knife and the Bauhinia's amputated branch was left out for the trashman.
Everything else is blooming. My pentas are crazy with flowers; the Mexican petunia has tipped its purple blooms to me in greeting, smugly daring me to try to ever completely eradicate its menace from my paradise. The butterfly bush is blooming lightning purple flowers. The vincas, verbenas, lantanas, cigar plants, shrimp plants, bat-faced cupheas, and myriads of other perennials are all gracing my garden with their magnificent color.
I guess I'm blessed after all!